FAQs & Contact

Whilst Humanist weddings are legally recognised in Scotland (and they have been for many years), as well as in being legal in Southern and Northern Ireland, Jersey and now Guernsey, they are not YET legal in England and Wales. My organisation – Humanists UK – is campaigning hard to change that, but, at the time of writing this, here in England, you will need to book a separate marriage registration to become legally married.

This is not complicated however, and before you start thinking you’ll need to have two weddings, let me explain . . .

You can arrange your legal registration simply and relatively cheaply, with your local register office, for as little as around £50 each (at the time of writing this). Fees do vary, very unfairly in my opinion, between each local authority and from office to office, but you are perfectly entitled to shop around and to travel, to undertake the most basic, cheapest registration – called a ‘statutory ceremony’.

The first step, when you give notice of your intention to marry (you must book to do this at least 28 days before your legal registration) must be done at the register office in the authority where you live. BUT the office you choose to do the actual registration at, can be anywhere, as long as you have arranged and booked it in advance. Your local office will advise you.

You may well be restricted to the time and day that you can book to register your marriage, particularly if you are choosing to have the most basic registration – and again this varies between register offices. You should not feel forced to book (and pay a premium) for a large ceremony space when you may not be inviting anyone, other than your 2 required witnesses, who must attend. It is your right to have a basic registration with no frills and no guests should you wish. The registering and paperwork usually takes no more than about 10-15 minutes to complete, with the most basic service.

Often couples register their marriage, a week or a few days before their wedding celebration day, to deal with the paperwork and get that bit out of the way in advance.

The majority of couples who book me, tend to save all the ‘fun stuff’ – the dressing up, the guests, the vows, the ring exchange, THE PARTY and celebration, for their humanist/celebrant ceremony.

Doing it separately really is no big deal and I like to make the following analogy about the legal bit . . . it’s rather like registering a baby’s birth – when new parents certainly wouldn’t usually choose to invite all their loved ones along to the register office, to witness the signing of the paperwork and the picking up of the baby’s birth certificate. Instead they save that very meaningful, joyful gathering and occasion – the celebration – with the promises that will be made to the child – for a naming ceremony, or a christening (if they are religious), at a later date.

A wedding and the wedding ceremony, is the part that ‘celebrates’ the couple entering into a marriage contract. Therefore keeping these two things separate, really works incredibly well!

My fee is all-inclusive, with no hidden extras. The initial quote I provide is exactly what you will pay. I charge the same fee for all local wedding ceremonies (within 20 miles of home) – no matter how long or short the ceremony running time. I only take one ceremony per day, so it makes no difference to me whether it’s an epic extravaganza or a brief but beautiful affair. My fee starts from £850, for weddings in West Sussex (weekdays are a little cheaper than weekends).

When I’m asked to journey further afield, which is often the case, my fee will reflect the distance I am required to travel, the time involved and any expenses incurred (e.g. overnight accommodation, airfare).

I’ll be pleased to provide you with a no-obligation, customised quote – just send me the address and postcode of your chosen venue and the preferred start time of your ceremony.

I’d be delighted to work with you, to create a ceremony that reflects your journey, your values, your hopes and dreams for the future – and what’s important to you as a couple.

And this is how it all happens . . .

• I offer a no obligation initial phone call, or, if you prefer, a meeting in person (or a video call if distance prevents a physical get-together), so that you can chat with me over a cuppa (or something stronger!), to ask questions, share ideas and decide whether I am the right person to create and conduct your wedding ceremony. If I’m not, no hard feelings whatsoever.
• If you decide you would like to book me for your wedding day, I ask for a deposit payment, to secure your date in my diary – then your date will not be offered to anyone else. I only take one wedding per day, so accommodating any last minute delays or timing changes are no problem.
• We arrange to meet a few months before your wedding date, to discuss your thoughts and wishes and to plan your ceremony. I’ll share loads of ideas with you before that meeting. By meeting together face to face and staying in touch after that, I get to know you both, in the lead up to your wedding celebration. I’m far from an unknown stranger, rocking up on the most important day of your life, to preside over such an important aspect of your celebrations!
• I create the first draft of your ceremony, which I send to you, for your approval, or any changes you wish to make. We then ‘to and fro’ with subsequent drafts, until your ceremony is just as you want it to be . . .
• I am always very keen to get together for a relaxed rehearsal before your ceremony day – ideally sometime during the week leading up to it, but it can be further in advance if needed – so that

i.) we meet one final time before your wedding day

ii.) I get to check out the ceremony space (very important if it’s a venue I’m not familiar with)

iii.) and most importantly, you know how we’ll do things, when your big moment finally arrives and you can relax a little, having walked it through with me, knowing what to expect.

And besides . . . a relaxed run-through is all part of the excitement of the preparation, leading up to your big day – it’s always good fun!

• Then I’m there with you on the actual day, well in advance of your ceremony start time, meeting those involved, ready to conduct your bespoke wedding ceremony – rooting for you, supporting and guiding you, every step of the way!

Most certainly YES – as far as my couples’ feedback is concerned!

The most meaningful part of your wedding day, surely, is the gathering of your loved ones around you; the special words that you will say to one another; your personalised vows and promises; your ring exchange and declaring your love and commitment in front of your nearest and dearest. Yes, it’s a little inconvenient that you can’t do the legal registration at the same time, but the inconvenience is completely outweighed by the advantages. Not once yet, in all the years I’ve been conducting weddings, have I been approached by a guest asking . . . was that a ‘real’ wedding . . .

. . . and I think that’s simply because of the authenticity of the words and actions – the gravitas of the occasion – and because it’s a ceremony crafted especially for you. If I were ever to be asked, I would certainly provide a totally honest answer, but as yet, that’s not been a conversation I’ve had to have.

YES for sure! I’m a big fan of including interesting symbolic elements or rituals to really personalise a ceremony, such as: Hand Fasting, Wine Sharing (or the tipple of your choice instead – gin and tonic blendings and cocktail making rituals are proving popular these days!), Sand Ceremonies, A Warming Of The Rings, Unity Candle Lighting, Certificate Signing (a Humanist Wedding certificate for a Wedding Celebration certificate), Jumping The Broom . . . the list goes on.

We can discuss including anything you like – creativity is warmly welcome – perhaps the celebration of your family background or the adding of a nod to a particular culture is perfect for you, if either of your roots are bound up in a particular country or culture? If it’s something I’ve not included before, I’m always excited to learn; to do the required research, and to weave a fitting element into any ceremony. 

Yes absolutely – I am the REAL DEAL (beware of cheap imitations!).

I’m trained and fully accredited by the organisation, Humanists UK (formerly The British Humanist Association) – having public liability and indemnity insurance – belonging to a large network of excellent celebrants who must adhere to a very strict code of conduct, with really high standards and expectations. We are all subject to regular peer review and observation, as well as having to commit to and provide evidence of training and CPD, to maintain our accreditation each year. Humanist Ceremonies celebrants are recruited and trained over a much longer period than any other celebrant training organisation in the UK, therefore our experience and understanding of the role, means you will be in very capable hands throughout.

In the extremely unlikely event that I am unable to take your ceremony on your day (I must add this has never happened yet, in all the years I’ve been leading ceremonies!), belonging to Humanists UK, having a network of colleagues to draw upon, means it would be very likely there would be someone else available, to stand in for me at short notice, should an emergency arise. If it were a real emergency and timing meant no other local celebrant could assist, then all monies paid would be refunded.

I’m a huge animal lover – and I’m also a passionate promoter of positive animal welfare. Whilst you’ll often find a warmly welcome pet dog as a ring bearer, or as a very important guest – barking along at the appropriate (or sometimes inappropriate!) moments, I am really not comfortable with including any animal ‘releases’ in ceremonies. I’ve had some bad experiences of animals being mistreated in the past. Anything that causes an animal to be confined in a cage, to be distressed or put at risk of injury, I do not agree with or want to be a part of. Using animals in ceremonies for human entertainment feels totally wrong to me. A much-loved pet dog attending is fine, and a very different matter, because there’s a relationship and a trust with the owner.

As long as the venue permits dogs and those attending are on a lead and being looked after by their owner (and any messes are rapidly attended to!), absolutely yes! As well as dogs at ceremonies, I’ve had a couple of brides arrive at their wedding ceremonies on horseback (their own horses)! Amazing!

Involving any family members and/or close friends too, is a fabulous way of making your ceremony very personal – for them as well as you!

Sometimes children like to take on a role such as an attendant – perhaps a bridesmaid, flower girl, page boy, best person, a reader or ring bearer, etc. Whatever they and you feel comfortable with, is fine with me; and I can suggest various ways of making their involvement very special and meaningful.