As a Wedding, Vow Renewal, Naming and Funeral Celebrant, I’ve been entrusted with leading hundreds of beautiful and memorable occasions for clients, ensuring that they are memorable, for all the RIGHT reasons – and a rehearsal is key to this!
During the years that I’ve been leading wedding ceremonies, whether they are complex and grand affairs in country houses, relaxed wedfests on farms, overseen by planners or co-ordinators in dedicated wedding venues, or simple laid-back celebrations in private back gardens or village halls, I’ve come to realise just how crucial a wedding rehearsal really is; ensuring everything runs as smoothly as possible on the BIG day.
So when a couple asks, ‘Is a rehearsal REALLY necessary?’, my answer is always the same . . . ‘Yes it ABSOLUTELY is – and you won’t regret it – you’ll be pleased you did!’
Here are just some of the reasons why . . .
1. TO REAQUAINT
It’s a great opportunity to touch base again, with your celebrant – to get together in person once more, before the actual day and in the very place where you’ll be on your wedding day. We may have met once or twice before (twice is most often the case for my clients), during the lead up to your wedding, but it may have been a few months prior, and you’re beginning to forget what I look like. Also, you may be involving some close friends or family members in your ceremony, who may have only met each other briefly before, or perhaps a long time ago (or maybe never!). It’s the perfect opportunity then, to reacquaint people or introduce them for the first time – and get them chatting and connecting before the big day arrives. Sometimes people get together for a drink or a meal after the rehearsal – a lovely way of extending the celebrations overall!
2. TO REASSURE
The most significant benefit of a rehearsal, is to allay any fears and calm any pre-wedding nerves or worries, that are inevitably associated with the most important day of your life! With your celebrant there in person, you’ll have the opportunity to ask any questions, discuss any last minute changes and/or work out any little problems that may have cropped up. Your celebrant will be there to ‘hold your hand’, to advise and guide you through the ceremony, offering suggestions and solutions; ensuring all goes smoothly when the moment of your real ceremony arrives. Then the night before your wedding day, you will go to bed knowing exactly what to expect – where you’ll stand, how you’ll move around, when you’ll be invited to sit, face one another, hold hands, what you’ll need to say, etc. Other than the overall feeling of excitement and anticipation that might keep you awake on your wedding eve, there shouldn’t be any worries about the ceremony itself!
3.TO REITERATE
During your rehearsal you’ll be given the chance to go over things as many times as you wish (within reason!). A key part of the ceremony that often concerns people is the entrance, understandably. No one relishes the thought of tripping up steps, treading on the feet of the person who might be accompanying them, or perhaps getting a dress caught on furniture as the aisle is walked! So the entrance is always practised, ideally with the music that has been chosen for this part of the ceremony. I always check timing with my couples – the point at which the first person will set off and how people will arrive in the ceremony space, what they will do, where they will go next and the order and positioning of all who will be processing at the start (if a procession is wanted – it’s not for everyone). Other logistics are often rehearsed, such as the movement and position of the people tasked with sharing readings, etc. The layout of furniture and seating is also checked and decided, to make sure there is sufficient space for everyone to move around freely.
4. TO REINFORCE
The rehearsal provides the couple with the chance to say out loud, the words that they will speak, when they make their promises and vows to each other and when they exchange their rings.
I always ask for a private moment with the couple, to run through this part of the ceremony, just the three of us (keeping these special words to ourselves until the wedding day). You’d be surprised at just how many couples come to their rehearsal, having never said their vows out loud (not even on their own, let alone to each other). Quite often, the rehearsal is the very first occasion during which these words have ever been uttered and this can bring about some (often unexpected) emotion. I’ve been witness to many couples feeling quite overcome, becoming tearful during the rehearsal, and this regularly takes people by surprise.
Having said the vow and ring words out loud prior to the big day, can help with emotions on the wedding day itself – or at least it can provide a taste of how they might feel when the words are said for real! Having begun to consider how emotional you might (or might not!) be, during the rehearsal, you can be a little more prepared for how you might react on the day.
My opinion is that emotions should be set free; a wedding day is of course, an emotionally charged occasion, so just embrace how you feel. If there’s crying, they’ll be happy tears – let them flow – just remember to have a tissue handy (and if you haven’t got one I will have)!
5. TO KEEP IT REAL AND RELAXED
A rehearsal is all about making things feel as realistic as far as possible – a genuine taster of how things will be on the big day. If at all possible I advise couples to have their rehearsal on the day before their wedding day. Sometimes this isn’t possible of course, particularly if you’ve booked a designated wedding venue and there are ceremonies booked in, during the day preceding. If that day is not available, then sometime during the week leading up to the wedding also works fine. Better to do that, than to have no rehearsal at all. The great thing about having it as close as possible to your wedding day, is that there’s then a much better chance of having everything set up as it will be for real – the furniture, seating, lighting, music facilities, etc. Creating the scene, so that it feels as realistic as it can be, is really helpful in preparing a couple well. And if those playing a part in the ceremony can’t make the run through, then a rehearsal with just those who can, is absolutely fine (even if it’s just the couple themselves and me – again, that is far better than not having one at all). I’ve done plenty of rehearsals where it’s been just the three of us and then I’ve arrived at the venue early, on the ceremony day, to run through everything with those who were missing from the rehearsal.
I honestly haven’t done a rehearsal yet, where the couple haven’t said to me afterwards, “We’re so pleased we had a rehearsal!” It really does REASSURE everyone, not just the couple – guests who are involved as well, and additionally, it gives the couple a very valid excuse to extend their celebrations and the time spent with their nearest and dearest!
A rehearsal is always lots of fun too – there’s always much laughter and giddy excitement. I always enjoy the rehearsal, almost as much as the ceremony itself.
REHEARSALS & RUN-THROUGHS ROCK