If you’re reading this, you’re more than likely, one half of an engaged couple who is starting to consider all the options for your wedding day. Huge congratulations to you both on your up and coming celebrations!
As you’ve found me, you’re also likely to be considering a humanist celebrant-led wedding. You’re wanting your wedding ceremony to be a tailor-made, essential, joyful part of your big day. Hoorah!
I’m biased I know, but your ceremony really should be at the beating heart of your celebrations, shouldn’t it?! After all, it’s the magical moment when your ultimate promises and commitments are made. It’s when the words of celebration about your unique partnership are being spoken. This is why your friends and family are all gathered – to witness and support you; to cheer along and feel so glad they were a part of the moment. Enhancing your big day with a fabulous, bespoke, authentic, you-do-you ceremony, is therefore highly recommended!
Planning Your Humanist Wedding – When Your Ceremony Matters!
With a Jane Blackman Weddings ceremony, that crucial moment will be authentic and at the very centre of everything that your day represents. It will set the tone and kick-start the rest of your celebrations in style.
So as you embark on your wedding planning journey, my very first piece of advice to you is . . . try really hard to ENJOY IT! This is an incredibly special time in your lives – one never to be experienced again (hopefully). It should be a moment and an adventure, to be cherished and relished.
But in this huge-choice-era, when couples really can do as they wish, I still, far too often, meet those who sadly feel prevented from genuinely enjoying the preparations. Overwhelm is a common feeling, as is trying to please everyone, and also not fully understanding the options or the order to do things. These obstacles can all play their part. For this reason, I’m on a mission, to banish the wedding planning worry – and to work with couples to embrace the joy of the magical lead-up to their big days.
How do we make this happen?
One tried and tested way, is to focus wholeheartedly on the CEREMONY. If you do that, and you keep the true meaning of your day at the forefront of your minds, everything else should fall nicely into place.
My Top Tips For Wedding Planning Magic
- First of all, choose your celebrant – and choose them wisely. Pick someone you really connect with. There are MANY celebrants out there. We are all different and we all have our own style and personality. From the wild and the wacky, to the stylish and sophisticated – from the experienced and accomplished, to those who, quite frankly, you wouldn’t want to touch with a barge pole(!) there is wealth of choice. Like many things in life, you tend to get what you pay for, so think carefully about booking a celebrant who is far cheaper than the rest (they may be very inexperienced or could be desperate for bookings).
With a little window-shopping and research (social media and the internet is the best place to start) you should be able to seek out ‘the one’. Personal recommendations are helpful, but do also check out testimonials, feedback and reviews. Those who don’t have much in the way of feedback are likely to be inexperienced (and sometimes that can mean more enthusiasm and a great deal of commitments don’t discount them). But perhaps no or little feedback, could mean . . . they’re just not that great. The most committed celebrants really care about their clients. Those who do the very best job, will be more than happy to chat over the phone or video call, with no obligation. So arrange that call, ask questions, find out if they feel a good fit for you and what their process is. Tell them about your thoughts and dreams for your big day and ask them what they can bring, to make your wishes a reality.
- When your ideal celebrant has been found, be sure to check their availability. I advise you do this even before you firm up your final date and book your venue (I’ll be sharing a venue secret that so many still don’t know, in point 3!). If your ceremony is important to you, then nab your chosen celebrant ASAP – before anyone else does. We get booked up a long time in advance and most of us experienced celebrants take only one booking per day. We know then that we are completely flexible with your timing. We can be totally focused, and only on you!
The very best celebrants will be the one wedding supplier on your day, who has invested significant time in getting to know you both. They’ll be rooting for you, every step of the way. The most accomplished celebrants will set the atmosphere and create the best feeling for the rest of your wedding day. They’ll get your celebrations started in a way that best reflects you as a couple; weaving your personalities through your ceremony, having found out how your relationship ticks and learning your story (including as much or as little of that in your ceremony as you wish).They’ll speak about you with confidence and affection (that’s me for sure!). Your celebrant should be your cheerleader throughout the wedding planning process; there to answer questions, give advice, provide options, solve problems and metaphorically (and sometimes physically!) hold your hands – from the very start, until you walk down that aisle together at the end – with the biggest grins on your faces and to the wild whoops and joyful cheers of your gang!
3. With your celebrant chosen and secured, its time to discover and book your venue. And I deliberately use the word ‘discover’ because you really can explore so many alternative and interesting options, when you’re planning a humanist celebrant-led wedding.
I know LOTS of venues here in Sussex and many beyond. If you’re stuck for ideas just ask (and if you’re wanting your ceremony to take place outside, take a look at my blog on outdoor weddings).
Here’s the secret about venues . . . with a celebrant-led wedding, you definitely do not have to book a venue that has a marriage licence. It doesn’t need one for a humanist wedding. Venues rarely tell couples this (amazingly, many still don’t know themselves!) and the registration service most certainly don’t advertise the fact. Here in England and Wales a humanist ceremony is not legally binding and so this gives total freedom as regards the location of your wedding celebrations. You have the complete flexibility to hold your wedding ANYWHERE (as long as you have the permission of the land/building owner, of course!).
The legal registration of your marriage can be taken care of simply and cheaply on another day. Contrary to popular belief, you definitely don’t have to have a registrar come out to your venue to legalise your marriage. You can therefore use a venue that hasn’t had to pay a premium to their local authority for a marriage licence. This often means you’ll pick up that saving in your venue booking fee. (For tips and advice on ‘How do we make our wedding legal?’ see the information my FAQs page). https://www.janeblackmanweddings.co.uk/contact-us/
4. Once you have your celebrant and venue decided, you can start hunting for your other suppliers – the rest of your wedding dream team! Again I know LOTS of the very best suppliers, so do get in touch and pick my brains if you need ideas. I highly recommend the following order for supplier booking:
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- Photographer/videographer
- Caterer
- Clothing
- Rings
- Florals
- Hair/make-up
- Furniture and shelter (essential for an outdoor wedding and if you’re having to hire in chairs, etc)
- Entertainment/musicians/DJ
- Staging (if you want lighting, decor, etc provided)
- Cake
- Stationery
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The above order won’t suit every couple and will be determined by your personal priorities and preferences, but this just gives an idea. Some couples decide to use a wedding planner too, and if that’s the case for you, I’d highly recommend you choose and book yours very early on – and do please choose one that’s celebrant-friendly!
5. Start thinking about the involvement of your friends and family in your wedding day celebrations. With a humanist wedding (more info on humanist ceremonies is here https://humanist.org.uk/janeblackman/ ) your guests wont fail to feel included and engaged throughout, but consider also who you would love to play a part in your ceremony – and who would be up for it. Decide who you might like to act as: your witnesses for a certificate signing (if you want to include that); your ring bearer; or the sharer of words of wisdom with special a reading. In my experience, people generally feel very honoured to be asked to contribute in some way. With a humanist celebrant-led wedding ceremony, there are so many wonderful options and umpteen ways to get your guests playing a part – making your ceremony truly personalised. I’m always excited to come up with ideas and suggest options – or to incorporate any ideas of your own.
SO YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY!
HAVE FUN WITH YOUR WEDDING PLANNING . . . EMBRACE THE RIDE. . .
AND DO GET IN TOUCH IF YOU’D LIKE A CHAT ABOUT YOUR CEREMONY!