Weddings are looking rather different right now – thanks to a global pandemic! So whilst many wanting-to-be-wed couples are postponing and rescheduling their celebrations, in the hope that larger social gatherings will be permitted again in the not too distant future, many are beginning to wake up to the idea that small weddings can in fact, be the very best way to marry!
Having conducted some incredibly joyful and beautiful small weddings over the years, I know this to be absolutely true!
Small, micro, intimate, petite. . . whatever you might choose to call your pared-down wedding . . . a reduced guest list certainly doesn’t have to mean less special, less fun or less atmosphere.
Small weddings are, in my experience, some of the most magical, meaningful, personal experiences – for everyone in attendance – not just the couple themselves.
But why should we, and how can we embrace the micro wedding, when we have become socially conditioned to believe that when it comes to a couple’s ‘big day’, bigger is better?
Well here are my top 5 observations about intimate weddings – what can make them fabulous and far from a flop – which might just get you seriously considering the small wedding option!
1.) For starters they are much cheaper! If your budget will be uncomfortably stretched with a bulging guest list, which to be honest, in most cases, can get a little out of control (!), well this is your chance to rein in the spending. And with the ‘out of your hands’ social gathering government restrictions currently in place, no one can accuse you of being stingy when it comes to your guest list.
If money happens to be no object however, or your budget will comfortably stretch to luxuries, why not think about spending the saving you’ve made on reducing your numbers, on the aspects of the day that really matter . . . like . . .
. . . the ceremony (if I may be so bold!) – the part of your day that surely should be at the heart of your celebrations and the very best bit. Get yourself a brilliant, experienced celebrant – and one with with a great reputation, to really get your party started in style! Much more exciting and personalised than a civil ceremony with a registrar. Sorry registrars, but with a celebrant there are no time limits, no ceremony length restrictions, no preset script, no ‘must say this, must say that’, no boring, fussy rules and regulations. And you’ll actually know who’ll be coming along to get you most wonderfully wed on your big day (not whoever just happens to be on the rota that day).
. . . music. Book a live musician, a duet or band – or a top notch DJ, to provide beautiful pieces for your ceremony (and the rest of the day if you can stretch to that) – because you really can NOT beat a live musical performance or a music-expert to give your wedding the atmosphere and the buzz it deserves.
. . . treating yourselves – and your guests – to lovely quality, carefully prepared food and drinks – perhaps personalised cocktails (mixed by a talented bar tender for your guests’ entertainment and delight) could form part of the post-ceremony celebrations and might be included rather than (or alongside) the usual obligatory fizz?
2.) They can be even more personal and memorable. With fewer guests to accommodate, you can involve those attending, much more in your day. You can have them play a part in your ceremony. You can go all out with the decor and finishing touches like: beautiful keepsake chair tags and place settings for everyone; favours that will be thoroughly enjoyed by your guests (maybe homemade cookies or a home-brewed tipple, rather than bulk-bought, factory-made).
3.) They keep everyone together.Your guests will actually SEE you – you’re likely to be able to be in the same room or space together, throughout most of the celebrations. Now there’s a novelty! With a reduced guest list, you are actually very likely to be able to talk to everyone. This is an almost impossible and quite frankly exhausting task, with a guest list of 80 or more! You will really know everyone at your wedding – they’ll most likely be your nearest and dearest – unlike at huge gatherings where so often either one of the couple, or at worst, both, haven’t a clue who some of the guests even are! Auntie Mary’s cousin’s brother – invited purely because your dad went to his wedding and ‘it would be rude not to’ – is unlikely to be someone you’ll be making a beeline for, to spend valuable wedding-day time chatting to. With small gatherings, the chat is usually better quality, the conversations are more enjoyable and meaningful – not simply exchanging pleasantries for the sake of being sociable!
4.) You can choose a smaller, more intimate venue. No need to spend out on the hire of buildings with huge spaces. No rattling around in corporate conference rooms! You can therefore be far more creative with your ideas as regards the place you choose to hold your micro wedding. With a humanist, celebrant-led wedding, there is no need to book a venue with a marriage licence. The place you choose to be wed in, can therefore be a particularly meaningful place to you as a couple – and this is far easier to arrange with fewer people to accommodate. 
5.) And finally . . . small weddings are just far less hassle! Full stop. It makes sense doesn’t it – that fewer people equals reduced worry and stress? Your wedding day should, after all, be all about you two (whether you are ‘centre of attention’ types or ‘out of the spotlight’ shrinking violets); and the smaller wedding option, offers you the opportunity to have it just the way you prefer – allowing you to go with the things you love, and legitimately ditch some of the unnecessary elements that a larger wedding would make it harder to get rid of. A micro wedding can be a magical occasion, where your wishes, hopes and dreams are very much the focus – where there’s a greater chance you’ll be able to encompass those things that will make it truly personal and ‘right’ for you, rather than worrying so much about others’ needs. As much as you may still wish to cater for second-cousin Dorothy’s allergy to prawns, you will only get to do this once in a life-time (hopefully!), so go all out to get it right – and don’t be afraid to go small. Small weddings can indeed, be very cool – and utterly gorgeous . . .
